Clapper’s Math on Rex's Survival Chances
In the wastelands of Last War Survival, survival was never guaranteed...
The Alliance of LMFS In the wastelands of Last War Survival, survival was never guaranteed. Yet one alliance stood out among the chaos: LMFS. Their strength wasn’t in brute force, but in their strange, unforgettable members. Members of LMFS - Jerey MooCow – The leader, stubborn and loud, with a dented milk-pail helmet. His booming “moo” rallies the alliance in battle. - The Wine-Drinking Mother – A mysterious figure with a goblet always in hand. She claims her wine grants “strategic clarity,” and her toasts keep morale alive. - Futon – A man who pretends to be a couch. His disguise fools raiders, who often walk past him thinking he’s abandoned furniture. - Dusty the Trusty – Calm, dependable, and resourceful. He always finds hidden caches of supplies and keeps the alliance grounded. - Clapper – With an IQ of 75 but savant-like instincts, he predicts enemy movements in bizarre ways—counting birds, staring at clouds—and is almost always right. - Icarus – The troublemaker, stitched wings on his back, reckless raids into enemy bases, and daring escapes that both endanger and save LMFS. - Mushroom Man – Proud and unyielding, with a toadstool-shaped helmet. He believes himself descended from “fungi warriors” and inspires courage with speeches. - Tiel Train Master – Obsessed with trains. He buys them, builds them, and turns them into fortresses, supply depots, and decoys. His locomotives give LMFS mobility and chaos. - Pits – The fallen father of Clapper. Once a wise strategist and fighter, he gave his life in a battle against the Guardians of Unity. LMFS fights in his memory. - Bronc – A horse-bulldog hybrid man with the heart of Georgia. Fierce as a stallion, loyal as a bulldog, Bronc charges into battle with unstoppable energy, shouting “For Georgia!” - Rocky – Burning with fever, Rocky channels his sickness into strength. His relentless drive to be the best makes him fight harder than anyone else. - Poppa Choppa – A cyborg helicopter sent from the future to protect LMFS. With miniguns, rotor-blades, and a thick Austrian accent, he hovers above the battlefield shouting, “I AM THE POPPA NOW.” - Rex – A well-meaning tactician who always volunteers to lead… and always gets his squad ashed. He’s constantly ported away mid-battle, leaving behind chaos and confusion. Despite his record, he remains painfully optimistic. ===================== The Struggles of LMFS Together, LMFS faced the brutal mechanics of Last War Survival. Their enemies were stronger, their bases larger, and their weapons shinier. Yet LMFS had something no other alliance possessed: sheer absurdity. Their unpredictable tactics confused opponents, who never knew whether they were facing a couch, a mushroom, or a mooing commander. One night, the alliance was surrounded by a rival faction known as the Guardians of Unity. Supplies were dwindling, and morale was low. Jerey MooCow stood on a crate and bellowed, “We fight not with strength, but with strangeness!” The Wine-Drinking Mother raised her goblet, Futon flattened himself into a couch, and Clapper began muttering numbers under his breath. Dusty devised a plan: lure the Guardians into a trap using Icarus as bait. Icarus, thrilled at the idea, sprinted into enemy lines, wings flapping wildly. The Guardians chased him, only to stumble into Futon’s “living room ambush,” where Mushroom Man proudly declared, “You’ve just sat on destiny!” before unleashing a barrage of improvised explosives. Meanwhile, Rex had volunteered to lead a flanking squad. “I’ve got this one, guys!” he shouted, charging into the fog with a map upside-down and a heart full of hope. Before he left, Clapper—concerned but curious—decided to calculate Rex’s chances of survival. He stared at the sky, counted birds, traced cloud shapes, and scribbled furiously in the dirt. When he was done, he turned the calculation toward the group. It was a sad face. And beneath it, one word: “No.” The alliance nodded solemnly. Rex vanished into the mist. Moments later, his entire team was vaporized by a misfired orbital strike, and Rex was ported away mid-sentence: “We’ll take the left and—wait, why is everything white—NOOOO—” The battle was chaotic. Clapper’s strange math guided LMFS’s attacks. The Wine-Drinking Mother hurled her goblet at an enemy commander, stunning him long enough for Dusty to land a decisive strike. Jerey MooCow mooed so loudly that the Guardians thought reinforcements were arriving. Bronc smashed through their flank, bellowing “For Georgia!” Rocky, fever burning like fire, fought with terrifying ferocity. And Poppa Choppa descended from the clouds, guns blazing, yelling “GET TO THE TRAIN!” Victory was theirs, though barely. The alliance celebrated with canned beans and questionable wine. Futon insisted his couch disguise was the key to their success, while Mushroom Man gave a speech about fungal resilience. Icarus, already planning his next reckless raid, promised to “fly higher next time.” Rex reappeared in the middle of the feast, covered in ash and muttering, “Did we win?” But amid the laughter, they remembered Pits. His sacrifice against the Guardians had given them the chance to survive. Clapper, his son, raised a toast in his honor, and the alliance cheered. They fought not just for survival, but for the memory of the fallen father who had once guided them. ===================== The Rise of the Train Army Soon, Tiel Train Master’s obsession became their edge. He converted trains into fortresses, supply depots, and decoys. The Guardians of Unity were baffled when LMFS rolled into battle on a train that had no tracks. Mushroom Man gave a speech about fungal roots being like rails, connecting the alliance to destiny. The Wine-Drinking Mother raised her goblet from the caboose, declaring, “Survival tastes better on a train.” Even Futon admitted that train seats were more comfortable than pretending to be a couch. Dusty realized Tiel’s obsession had given LMFS a new identity. “We are no longer wanderers,” he said. “We are passengers on the rails of survival.” Together, they launched daring raids, rolling their fortress-train into enemy camps. Clapper’s uncanny predictions guided their timing, Icarus’s chaos distracted foes, Mushroom Man’s pride fueled their courage, Bronc’s hybrid strength broke enemy defenses, Rocky’s fever-fueled fury drove them forward, and Poppa Choppa provided aerial support, yelling “CHOO CHOO, BABY!” as he strafed enemy lines. Rex was assigned to “rear guard morale operations,” which mostly meant being ported away before he could mess anything up. Still, he saluted proudly and shouted, “I’ll hold the caboose!” before vanishing in a flash of light. ===================== The Legend of LMFS The legend of LMFS grew stranger. Other alliances whispered of “the train army,” a band of misfits who fought not with tanks or planes, but with couches, mushrooms, mooing, wine, wings, locomotives, a horse-bulldog hybrid shouting about Georgia, a fever-driven warrior, a helicopter that thought it was their dad, and a man who always got ported away before he could finish a sentence. And always, they fought for Pits, the fallen father of Clapper. His memory was their rallying cry, his sacrifice their guiding star. In Last War Survival, where logic often failed, LMFS proved once again that strangeness was strength. With trains, couches, mushrooms, mooing, wine, wings, Bronc’s bulldog-stallion fury, Rocky’s fevered glory, Poppa Choppa’s aerial justice, and Rex’s accidental martyrdom, they rolled forward—unstoppable, unpredictable, and unforgettable. ===================== Epilogue The wasteland is endless, but so is their resolve. Each battle, each raid, each absurd victory is a tribute to the one they lost. Pits may have fallen, but his spirit rides with them—echoing in Clapper’s strange calculations, in Dusty’s steady hand, in MooCow’s defiant moo, in Bronc’s thunderous cry for Georgia, in Rocky’s burning fever, in Poppa Choppa’s whirring blades, and in the faint echo of Rex yelling, “I’ve got this one!” before disappearing into the void. And so, the alliance marches on. Through ruins and rails, through chaos and laughter, LMFS survives. Not because they are strong. Not because they are wise. But because they are strange—and because they never forget the father they fought for. **“In memory of Pits, LMFS rides on… with Bronc charging for Georgia, Rocky burning with fevered glory, Clapper looking as stupid as ever, Poppa Choppa whispering ‘I’ll be back,’ and Rex respawning somewhere in the wrong THE SAGA CONTINUES IN SEASON 5......